JESSE AND JAMES’ TRUMPED UP CONVERSATION.

  

On a sunny serene day, with a charm of hummingbirds dancing in the air, buzzing bees sipping nectar through a meadow of flowers, and the doting wind exhaling the sweet scent of evergreen across the park, a young man slumped under a tree in the shadowy edges of the park.   Sluggish in appearance, with a handkerchief in his hand, the young man sat slumped over a large boulder with his head facing down.  If misery loves company, this young man was, at the very least, acquainted with misery.  Another young man, named James, observing this melancholic display and feeling a sense of kindredness, slowly walked up to this young man.  The below, captures their conversation.

 

James:  What’s your name young man?

 

Jesse:  My name is Jesse.  Jesse Morón.

 

James:  Nice to meet you Jesse.  My name is James Dimwiddie.  Is something troubling you?  

 

Jesse:   Yes, something is bothering me? 

 

James:   What’s bothering you?

 

Jesse:   The presidential election was stolen.

 

James: Stolen.  Really? Who stole the election?

 

Jesse:  The democrats stole the election for Biden. 

 

James:  Really, in all the states? 

 

Jesse:   No, only in the five swing states which Trump lost.  Then, they hid their collusion against Trump by intentionally losing several seats in the house and senate. 

 

James:  Fascinating.  So, the Democrats stole the election in one direction, and only in five swing states  Trump lost, whilst contemporaneously aborting wins in the house and senate. 

 

Jesse:   Precisely!

 

James: Wow.  This must have been a very sophisticated plan involving mainly high ranking officials of the democratic party.

 

Jesse:   No, actually the majority of the conspirators are low level workers.

 

James: Low level workers?

 

Jesse:   Yes, it appears low level workers like drivers and ballot counters carried out this deviant scheme almost exclusively?

 

James: How many of them were there?

 

Jesse:   The details are unclear.  We estimate anywhere from hundreds to thousands across these five swing states.  

 

James:  How did these low level workers hide their deviant scheme.

 

Jesse:   They didn’t.  They accomplished it in bright daylight. 

 

James: In bright daylight you say.  Well, I suppose it does make sense for them to throw their lives away.  I’d imagine several of them have been caught by now.

 

Jesse:    No, we haven’t caught anyone yet.  Not a single one.  They’re like ninjas. 

 

James:  We haven’t caught anyone? Then how do we know they stole the election?

 

Jesse:  We do.

 

James:  How?

 

Jesse:   We just do!

 

James:  Yes, that makes sense. You seem pretty adamant.  And, I’ve always been taught that adamancy and evidence are kind of the same thing. 

 

Jesse:   Exactly!  Plus President Trump says the democrats stole the election and that there was                                                                                 _            massive fraud.  So it must be true! 

 

James:  I agree. Trump represents the barometer of truth.  Everything he says is true.  Mexico will build and pay for our border wall any day from now.  Trump should file a lawsuit about this election forthwith!

 

Jesse:  He did.

 

James:  Oh, good. How is his lawsuit going?

 

Jesse:   They aren’t going too well.

 

James: They?  What. They????  Just how many lawsuits has he filed?

 

Jesse:    Honestly, I lost track at fifty.

 

James:  Fifty!  Fifty lawsuits?!!  Well, I suppose lawsuits are like caroling: the more the merrier.

 

Jesse:  Yes, fifty lawsuits at the very least.  Well, not just Trump, some of his allies also filed lawsuits. Allies like certain electors, a state here and there, certain voters, etc.  They are all working diligently to get this fraudulent election overturned on.  And, yes, the more the merrier.

 

James: Well, we will surely win in court then?  

 

Jesse:   Yes, we will.  Although, we’re losing so far.

 

James:  Losing?  How many cases have we lost?

 

Jesse:  All of them.

 

James:  All of them!  We’ve lost fifty lawsuits!

 

Jesse:  Yes, fifty, at the very least.

 

James:  Have we been close to winning any of them?

 

Jesse:  No, the majority of cases have been outright rejected within days, sometimes within hours.

 

James:  Rejected within days?  Well, these must all be liberal and radical left judges then, right?

 

Jesse:  You would think so, but no; many of them are conservative judges, even judges which Trump appointed himself?

 

James:  What?! Trump’s own appointees are throwing out his lawsuits?

 

Jesse:  Yes, all of them, and quite quickly I might add.  

 

James:  How can the courts sanction fraud in an election?

 

Jesse:  Woah.  Woah.  Woah.  You should be careful with that word you use there, “fraud.”  That word is tricky.  I think it’s ok if me and you say it, and I think its ok if the President and his allies tell us it occurred, but I don’t think it’s a word or theory that the President should use in his lawsuits.  

 

James:  Well, why do you say that?

 

Jesse:  Simple, the President’s election lawsuits don’t use that word.

 

James:  You’re kidding??!!!

 

Jesse:  No, in fact, in one of the cases, Trump’s primary lawyer.  Eh, I forget his name, the one who sweats hair spray.

 

James:  Oh, you mean Rudy Giuliani?

 

Jesse:  Yes, him.  Thanks.  Yes, in one of the cases, Rudy Giuliani told the judge, and I quote, “this is not a fraud case.”

 

James:  Wait, so Trump and his primary lawyers tell us, the public, that fraud occurred but don’t say the same thing in court.

 

Jesse:   Oh no, they wouldn’t dare say it in court.  They don’t even like using the word “fraud” and “court” in the same sentence. 

 

James:  Oh ok.  Of course.  That makes sense.  Why would they, right?  What about his allies?  Are they telling the court fraud occurred.

 

Jesse:  Yes, some of them are doing so, some of the time.  And they submitted affidavits too.

 

James:  Wow, affidavits.  And they still lost?!

 

Jesse:   Yes, well apparently the courts are saying their cases are all based on speculation and conjecture rather than evidence.  Apparently, in one of the cases, the closest thing to alleging fraud in the affidavit was a statement saying, “I believe some of these workers were changing votes that had been cast for Trump to Biden.”

 

James:  Wow!  That’s crazy!  I thought beliefs WERE evidence!

 

Jesse:   Exactly, they are!  Santa Clause existed until I stopped believing in him. 

 

James:  Yes, well you better believe in him again soon given the upcoming holidays.  

 

Jesse:  Yes, I plan to believe in Santa again.  I will ask him for a gift in the form of overturning this election to make Trump the winner.

 

James:  You shouldn’t need to do all that.  We should take this fight to the Supreme Court.  We have six republican justices and, of those six, three are Trump appointees, so we can’t lose.  We just need to get this to the Supreme Court!

 

Jesse:  No can do.  We lost already.

 

James: We already lost in the Supreme Court?! 

 

Jesse:  Yes, unanimously.  

 

James:  Wow!  How could the Supreme Court allow this frau…..wait, they did allege fraud to the Supreme Court, right?

 

Jesse:  No, of course not.  Don’t be silly.  I told you, they don’t even like writing—I won’t even say that word—let’s just call that word “it” anywhere near the court.  The case to the Supreme Court was about voter irregularity tantamount to unconstitutionality in the swing states which Trump lost due to those states not complying with their own laws.  

 

James: Wow, that sounds deep.

 

Jesse:  Yes, it is. Voter irregularity is very deep.  We’ve left the shallow end of the pool my friend.

 

James:  Wow.  Oh ok, what is the irregularity?

 

Jesse:  Easy.  The irregularity is that Trump received less votes than Biden.

 

James:  Wait, didn’t almost every single poll, including conservative polls, predict that Biden would win the popular vote, i.e., that he would receive more votes than Trump?

 

Jesse:  Yes, they did!  And, get this, when the final votes were tallied, he did receive more votes! 

 

James:  That doesn’t sound right to me.  If all the polls predicted Biden would win the popular vote, then surely that means he should have lost the popular vote, right. 

 

Jesse:  Exactly!  It doesn’t make sense.  The fraud…err…voter irregularity speaks for itself.

 

James:  Damn these ninja low-level workers.  I wish I could can catch one of them to prove our speculation about massive voter fraud. 

 

Jesse:  You don’t need to.  Don’t forget, my friend.  Our belief and speculation is all the evidence you need!

 

James:  You’re right, I almost forgot that very thing.  Which states should I believe voter irregularity occurred in for Trump to win?  I want to make sure I’m believing correctly to make it so.  

 

Jesse:  You must believe voter irregularity occurred in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Arizona, and Michigan.  

 

James:  Aren’t Georgia and Arizona generally Republican states.

 

Jesse:  Yes, they are.  They both have Republican governors, and Georgia also has a Republican Secretary of State.

 

James:  Wow, these ninja low-level ballot workers really are something to manage to infiltrate two of our strongholds undetectably in broad daylight.  Are you sure these low level workers aren’t CIA or something.  I mean, this is like beyond James Bond level stuff.  

 

Jesse:  Well, they didn’t infiltrate Georgia or Arizona on their own.  The Republicans governors and secretary of states were in on it too.

 

James:  The Republican governors and secretaries of state were in on it too you say.  Hmm.  How do you know?

 

Jesse:   I know because I believe it.

 

James:  Oh, you believe it.  You should have lead off with that.  Then it must be true! 

 

Jesse:  Yes, in some ways its even deeper than that.  I really take that phrase from Rene Descartes, “I think therefore I am,” to heart.  Whatever I think must be true.

 

James:  Wow, yes, I forgot about that phrase, “I think, therefore I am.”  Yes, whatever you think must be true!

 

Jesse:  Precisely, my friend.  How can you not believe what you think?  It’s so obvious.  It’s like two plus two equals five. 

 

James: Yes, yes, yes, well…wait a minute.  I thought two plus two equals four.

 

Jesse:  Does it?  Well, that doesn’t matter.  All that matters is what you believe!

 

James: Oh yes, of course.  How could I have been so obtuse.

 

Jesse:  Yes, you need to expand your imagination a bit more my friend if you are really going to believe that Trump actually won this election.  You need to be more like me.  For instance, I believe that a bunch of dead people voted and that these dead votes are what changed the outcome of the election.

 

James:  Fascinating.  Did dead people actually vote?

 

Jesse:  Surely, in a nation of 340 million people, of course at least one ballot of an otherwise dead person must have been cast here and there possibly.

 

James:  True, there have probably been dead people voting here and there in America since 1776.  What would make this 2020 election any different.   

 

Jesse:  Precisely!

 

James:  Is there any evidence that these dead people voted exclusively for Biden or that even a majority of them voted for Biden?

 

Jesse:  Yes, of course there is evidence.  It’s simple.  I believe that they did.  

 

James:  Wow!  That’s amazing.  Then of course they did!

 

James: And, is there any evidence that these dead votes weren’t somehow caught along the way?

 

Jesse:  Again, yes, it is what I believe!

 

James:  Incredible!  And is there any evidence that this sea, well probably more like an ocean, of dead people, who of course voted exclusively for Biden, did so in sufficient number to overturn the votes in even one, let alone in all five of these swing states?

 

Jesse:  Yes and Yes!  I believe that they did!  So, they must have. 

 

James:  Wow!  Thank you!  That’s all I needed to hear.  Any other evidence I should know about?

 

Jesse:   Yes, as long as I have an imagination, and I have a great one, then there will always be evidence!

 

James:  Wow, I wish I had imagination like yours!  What else have you imagined?

 

Jesse:  You should grab your popcorn for this one.  Well, I imagine that this company named Dominion, which was founded in Canada in 2002 and makes voting machines and software, conspired with communists from across the globe, even dead communists like Hugo Chavez, so that the Dominion voting machines in these five swing states—and these five swing states exclusively—electronically switched Trump votes to Biden votes using an algorithm.  

 

James:  Wow!  Amazing!  You do have quite the imagination!  Wait, electronic?  I thought there were paper ballots. 

 

Jesse:  There are paper ballots, but these Dominion Voting Machines count and electronically tabulate the paper ballots.  

 

James:  Got it. These commies sure are duplicitous.  Lucky for us, this should be easily verifiable.  Since electronic tabulations distort the paper ballots,  the actual paper ballots won’t match the electronic tabulations.  We simply need to do hand counts of the paper ballots!  We’ll catch these jokers red handed. 

 

Jesse:    No.  No, there is no need.  The paper ballots and the Dominion voting tabulations match to a tee.

 

James: What?  Really???!!!

 

Jesse:   Yes, multiple recounts have been done, including a hand recount of over five million votes in Georgia, and they match each and every time.

 

James: Oh, well, if the hand recounts match the electronic voting tabulations, wouldn’t that mean that the Dominion algorithm stuff and changing votes theory is a bunch of hogwash.

 

Jesse:  Not if I don’t believe it to be hogwash. 

 

James:  Wow, yes, then it can’t be hogwash.  It must be true!  

 

Jesse:  Exactly!  Don’t let a little thing like logic hold you back my friend.  

 

James:  I’m sorry.  Yes, you’re right.

 

Jesse:    Right.  Eschew logic.  For instance, like they’re trying to say that Trump only led in some of these swing states on election night because these swing states counted in person votes first, which favored Trump, before counting mail in ballots, which weighed heavily for Biden.

 

James:  Well, that makes logical sense.  I recall Trump telling Republicans not to use mail in ballots.  So,  I suppose that could be the reason.  

 

Jesse:  No!  No!  No!  Haven’t you been listening at all?!!  You’re letting logic hold you back again.  Logic is not your friend.  Logic is like the terminator:  It can’t be bartered with.  It can’t be reasoned with.  And, it absolutely will not stop, until you are dead or, at the very least, your dreams are dead.  Therefore, the best thing to do is to choose reject logic and believe the illogical.

 

James: Thank you!  Yes, that would certainly make me feel better.

 

Jesse:   Yes, whenever reason and logic pops up about this election,  just disregard it if you don’t like what it means or otherwise implicates.  Just keep saying fraud and voter irregularity.  Keep on saying it and saying it until you believe it.

 

James: Yes!  Yes!  If I keep on saying it, then I’ll have to believe it.  Otherwise, I’ll sound like moron.  Obviously, I don’t want to sound like a moron.  And, since I don’t want to sound like a moron, then I should disregard any thoughts that suggest my thinking is moronic.  Therefore, my thinking must the opposite of moronic.  My thinking must be true.  Which means, whatever these obviously radical left outsiders say contrary to my non-moronic thinking, regardless of how logical or reasonable, it must be rejected.  I should just keep saying and believing voter irregularity and voter fraud cost Trump the election!

 

Jesse:  By George, I think you’ve got it!  And, here I almost thought we were going to need to have a discussion about the pitfalls of that dreadful word “accountability.”

 

James: No, no need to even think about accountability.  

 

Jesse:  Good.  I hate how that word makes me feel.  But, yeah, that about sums it up my friend.  I’m sitting here all frustrated because less and less of the world is believing what I’m thinking.  It’s so obvious the democrats fraudulently stole the election.  But the rest of the world is letting logic and reason get in the way.  They think if Trump really believed fraud occurred then he would have alleged it in his lawsuits.  They think that all of the judges, including Republican judges and Trump’s own appointees, rejecting his 50+ lawsuits means there is and was likely no evidence of massive voter fraud or voter irregularity.  They think that the polls predicting Biden would win the popular vote mean that it makes sense that Biden won the popular vote; and that I shouldn’t draw a negative inference from him winning the popular vote.  They think that multiple hand recounts where the paper ballot voting tally matched with Dominion’s voting numbers means that there was likely no algorithm in Dominion’s voting machines or software which switched Trump votes to Biden.  They think it is highly unlikely that a massive voter conspiracy the likes of which the world has never seen, such as here, involving hundreds if not thousands of low level workers across multiple swing states, workers who presumably never even knew each other, could occur in broad daylight without any any of these workers being caught, without any of these workers’ plans being intercepted, without any coordination amongst these workers, and without any paper or electronic trail whatsoever.  They think it is unlikely that Trump could overturn one, let alone all five of the swing states, particularly where he losing by tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of votes and where he keeps losing recount after recount.  I can keep going on and on.  They even think the fact that Trump’s attorney general says that he has found no evidence of voter fraud or irregularity sufficient to overturn the election means that I should stop believing Trump lost the election due to massive voter fraud and irregularity…as though my belief isn’t enough evidence as it is.  Suffice to say, now, it is beginning to look like Biden may actually be sworn in on January the 20th.

 

James:  That’s terrible.  Devastating.  Well, I believe in what you think, is there some way I can help.

 

Jesse:   Yes, there is actually.  And since you believe, then I know it will be so.

 

James:  Yes, yes,  I believe, tell me.

 

Jesse:    Thanks.  Yes, I’ve thought about this long and hard, and I don’t see any other way around it.  But, could you use your wish to Santa Clause to get this election overturned.  The thought of me having to use my Santa wish on this election makes me sad.  

 

James:  Why does it make you sad?

 

Jesse:    Well, other than from parents or being born privileged or with a silver spoon,  I don’t think it’s appropriate to expect handouts from anyone, even Santa Clause, for things that you cannot achieve on your own merit.  The idea of asking for charity from Santa irks me.    

 

James:  Ahh, yes.  That is tricky, isn’t it.  Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.  I’ll just choose to believe it is appropriate to expect handouts.

 

Jesse:  That’s some good thinking!  We fraudulent election proponents do come in all shapes and sizes don't we, so it does make sense for you to think that.

 

James: Yes, of course.  Like you said, things make sense when we want them to make sense.  I’ll ask Santa for the wish and keep our man Trump in office as he lawfully ought to be.  No need to worry. 

 

Jesse:  Thank you! Democracy is saved! 2021 here we come! 

 

With glee spreading across his face, Jesse leapt from the boulder in frabjous delight.  James echoed his excitement and they both chortled with joy.  All concerns about the horrors of a Joe Biden presidency subsided as the melodic chirping and buzzing of the birds and bees slowly matched the cadence of jingle bells.  For when one has sown the seeds of abject belief irrespective of evidence into the deepest crevices of his bosom, he can live happily choosing to believe whatever he wants.

 

                     The End. 

 

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In Defense of Trayvon Martin’s Killer: The Deadliness of Skittles

The police are and remain more than justified in not arresting the 28 year old man, George Zimmerman, after he shot and killed the 17 year old boy, Trayvon Martin.  In fact, I believe the police should be applauded for their efforts in not arresting a grown man who shot and killed a child with a .44 caliber gun when all the child had on him was some skittles and iced tea.  Now, I know some may think that there is disconnect between someone having skittles, and another person having a gun, but I am here to assure all that it connects perfectly.  A disconnect is only in the mind of fools, and I’m glad there is not a single fool in that Sanford police department. 

First of all, I get angry at people who try to downplay the significance of these skittles. Little David meek and mild vanquished a 20 foot tall behemoth, Goliath, with nothing but a few measly pebbles.  George Zimmerman is not Goliath, therefore it logically falls that skittles are more than a deadly weapon to him.  Have you ever been hit in the head with a skittle? Have you ever tasted that rainbow? I assure you that it is quite deadly.  Zimmerman’s  .44 caliber gun was necessary to thwart the danger of those wretched skittles.  To buttress this point, I’ll give an example of the violent disposition of colorful skittles. If I, unfortunately, was positioned to fight another man to the death, and we were given a list of weapons to choose from such as a rifle, a battle axe,  a bag of skittles, a dagger,  a chainsaw, a sword, a grenade, and a machine gun, then I’m sure both of us, without hesitation, would first reach for those skittles.  In fact, fearing the dangerousness of the aforesaid skittles, I assume that we would probably pre-negotiate that neither of us could use those ferocious skittles in battle. Skittles are manufactured by the Wrigley Jr. Company;  I have already sent numerous letters to the Wrigley Jr. Company  insisting that they put a disclaimer on skittles.  I won’t be satisfied until every pack of skittles has the disclaimer, “Sweet and Lethal.”  Skittles should really be named Deadly Colorful Black Mamba candy, but for now I’ll settle for at least a disclaimer.

Second of all, my anger intensifies when people try to claim that Trayvon was not suspicious.  He was beyond extremely suspicious.  He was walking around wearing a hoodie for Christ’s sake.  In this day and age, where people have motorcycles, cars, and trucks, there is and remains nothing more suspicious than a person who chooses to walk. Think about it, if someone had the option to drive a vehicle, isn’t it suspicious that he would choose to walk instead.  Further, even if they lack the means to drive, there are bikes, scooters, and skate boards available. My heart always skips at least two beats when I see someone walking on the street. Man was simply not meant to walk that is the very reason we have cars in modern day and rode horses in ye olden day.  Further, Trayvon wore a hoodie. Even though it was winter and even though it was after sunset and even though the air was chilly, Trayvon should have known that a hoodie raises ones suspicion, and rightfully so.  So, the follow up question to the fact that a hoodie is suspicious is, “Well, then what should he have worn instead of a hoodie?” The answer to this is quite obvious.  He should have worn no shirt.  Indeed, he should have embraced the frigid sunset air and smiled a warm smile as he welcomed the goose bumps along his thin body.  It is more reasonable to suffer the rancor of hypothermia than to ever be suspicious.  I am seeking a prohibition on all jacket hoodies, I hope that others join my petition to ban hoodies. Hoodies are simply too precarious in making a person look suspicious.  George Zimmerman’s suspicion was justified; other reasonable minds would have behaved similarly.  If I saw a person with a hood on who was engaged in the activity of, god forbid, walking, then I must confess that I would probably have thrown some skittles at him or her.

Third of all, I propose that those who call George Zimmerman a racist be banned from speaking.  I think that it is ludicrous and disturbing the peace that many insipid insidious insects have labeled Zimmerman a racist.  I only call them insects because I don’t know them all by name, and because they truly bug me.  Zimmerman is not a racist. Zimmerman’s father, who of course has no interest in trying to paint his gun toting son in a good light, said that his son had some black friends.  Even though not a single one of these black friends has come to Zimmerman’s defense, I’ll take the obviously unbiased words of Zimmerman’s father over any the silly racist speculation spewed by those slithering insects.  Obviously, if a person has even one friend of the opposite race, then it is impossible for such person to be racist or prejudicial in the slightest.  This is why not one single slave owner in the post civil war South or white supporter of Jim Crow or white supporter of South African apartheid ever had one black friend, or, better yet, a third party who claims that such person had a friend after such person was labeled a racist. Zimmerman wasn’t a racist; he just saw a black person who happened to be acting suspiciously by having the audacity to walk on his feet while contemporaneously wearing a hoodie. Yes, America is a free country, but that doesn’t give a person, even a black person, the right to engage in such unquestionably suspicious behavior.  It isn’t like Florida, or the Southern United States for that matter, has a history of racial injustice.  For example, the 12 year old Floridian black child given life imprisonment without the possibility of parole for killing his cousin while performing wrestling moves on her completely deserved to rot in prison for the rest of his life.  Moreover, the case of Casey Anthony would have come out the same way regardless if Ms. Anthony had been white or, god forbid, black.  Further, the police love black people, black men especially, that is why police officers stop black drivers all the time.  It’s because they love them.  That is why police officers arrest black men at disproportionate rates. It’s because they love them.  That is why black men make up a disproportionate amount of the jail system.  It’s because police love them so much, and desperately want to keep them around.  I, for one, can only hope that a police officer will stop me while I’m driving, claim that my taillight is busted even though it is complexly fine, and then subsequently  ask me if I’m on drugs or if I stole my own car.  Such action shows true love.  Since Zimmerman was the self appointed neighborhood watchman, which is not a cop but in my eyes is close such that I should even respect Zimmerman’s view of what articulable reasonable suspicion means, I think it is safe to assume that he loved black men just as much as police officers do.

Zimmerman truly is an honorable man, and he should be commended instead of abhorred for standing up and trying to protect his neighbors from the deadly skittle carrying nightwalker.  How could you arrest a guy like him? He graduated from college and took a criminal law class. He selflessly appointed himself as the head of the neighborhood watch. He is and remains undoubtedly an upstanding citizen. This is evidenced by his 2005 arrest for suspicion of battery on a law officer. It is also evidenced by complaints made by one resident to the Sanford police about Zimmerman approaching him and even coming to his home. Moreover, it is evidenced by the numerous complaints made by several residents of George Zimmerman and his “tactics” in his neighborhood watch role.  As the story unfolds, it becomes more and more apparent that Zimmerman was not simply a loose cannon.  To the contrary, Trayvon was the loose cannon for, as previously mentioned, wearing a jacket and hoodie while carrying skittles.    Indeed, Trayvon is lucky that Zimmerman did not know he had those skittles “sweet and lethal” on him. 

Although it is clear that Zimmerman was not a racist, seeing a black man with skittles strikes fear even in those with the most unwavering of hearts.  With crips wearing blue, bloods wearing red, black disciples wearing blue, and orange gangs wearing orange, an abundance of clarity arises manifesting that skittles can be nothing less but vitriol filled black gangster candy.  Skittles are so very precarious because, since there are so many colors, one does not know which color to associate to the black insubordinate who dares to eat such candy.  Trayvon must have been in a dangerous gang that associated itself with the colors: green, orange, red, yellow, or purple.  Moreover, since there has been no specification on the kinds of skittles, one cannot even assume that Trayvon was carrying the original skittles, he may have been carrying sour skittles, tropical skittles, or even chocolate mix skittles.  With each different kind of skittles pack that Trayvon may have carried, the color that he and his gang associated as gang bangers grows exponentially.  Trayvon also carried a can of Arizona Iced tea. It is not coincidental that the rapper Ice-T made the song cop killa.  I do not want to speculate as to what activity Trayvon planned to engage himself into that night, but all logical signs point to the fact that he was up to no good: he was walking, he was wearing a hoodie, he was black, he had skittles in his pocket, and he was carrying some “cop killa” ice tea.

Since Trayvon clearly was dangerous, it is unconscionable to think that Zimmerman did anything but engage in self defense.  Trayvon Martin stood 6 foot 3 and weighed a whopping 140 pounds.  To better put it, he stood as tall as rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg but weighed at least 30 pounds less than Snoop Doggy Dogg, and we all know how big and buff Snoop Doggy Dogg is.  Undeniably, the 17 year still-developing-boy Trayvon must have been a pillar of strength and mightiness.  Zimmerman who only happened to be a grown man at 28 and who only happened to outweigh Trayvon by 100 pounds, give or take, could not have possibly outdueled a barely-past-prepubescent Trayvon in a match of fists. Killing Trayvon by shooting him in the chest was the only rational and reasonable thing for Zimmerman to do.  In a battle, one is allowed to fight back with reasonable force.  Obviously, the emaciated punches of the barely post prepubescent 17 year old Trayvon were more than formidable; they were as deadly as his skittles.  Zimmerman, obviously, and I repeat, obviously, had no other option as a 28 year old man, but to shoot 17 year old Trayvon Martin dead.  The only possible way to defend himself was to kill Trayvon Martin.  Luckily, gun laws in Florida are so relaxed that a law abiding citizen like Zimmerman can easily acquire a pistol.  I urge others to acquire pistols as well because if someone punches a person and then may reasonably slap or punch such person again, then the person that has been punched has the right to shoot the puncher in the chest in the name of self defense.  If the person who punches is a black man with skittles and iced tea, then, luckily, I believe under Florida Law that the black man is not even required to throw the first punch before the aforesaid person has a right to shoot that boy dead.

Further, it is clear that Trayvon initiated the whole confrontation.  When Zimmerman called the police to report about Trayvons’s suspicious and, likely, criminal activity, the police told Zimmerman not to follow Trayvon. Indeed, when Zimmerman reported to the police that he as the self-appointed neighborhood watchman was going to accost Trayvon Martin, the 911 dispatcher said, “we don’t need you do that.” Thus, if Zimmerman disobeys direct police orders, and confronts a dangerous 17 year old emaciated 140 pound black kid who has equipped himself with skittles and “cop killa” ice tea, then any subsequent confrontation must be self defense.  Foolish people say that a person should not be able to claim self-defense when such person was the one who initiated the confrontation in which he had to defend himself, and when such person disobeyed direct police orders not to initiate such a confrontation.  I, for one, am very thankful that none of the police officers in that Sanford police department are complete and utter fools.  To the contrary, their wisdom permeates higher than Solomon’s.   This is so transparently a case of self defense that standard procedures like alcohol and drug testing of the shooter did not and does not have to be taken.  The only thing that needs to be taken is triumphant killer’s words, and they are undoubtedly truthful.  So, all the neighbors and other firsthand witnesses speaking against Zimmerman clearly are the ones lying or mistaken.

As Zimmerman said, it was Trayvon who started the fight and it was Zimmerman that was begging for his life.  This makes perfect sense.  Of course that high pitched child like sounding desperate wailing could only come from a 28 year old fully developed grown man who outweighed his  17 year old emaciated attacker by 100 pounds and who reasonably feared for his life even though he carried a .44 caliber gun.  For this reason, the blood curdling screaming stopped as soon as the gun shot fired.  It only makes sense that the person begging for his life also happens to be the one who is carrying the gun just like it only makes sense that the blood-curdlings screams for help would immediately cease after the shot that rang through the treacherous heavens fired.   It only makes sense that the gun toting 28 year old man that disobeyed police orders feared for his life, and not the skinny 17 year old high school boy who was confronted by a stranger as he was walking home from buying candy.  This is so clear, apparent, and undeniable that undoubtedly the Sanford police could not at all arrest George Zimmerman.

I am thankful to live in a nation where a 17 year old skinny black child walking back from the candy store can be shot dead by an assailant who disobeyed direct police orders, and that this assailant can then be given the benefit of the doubt that such actions were in self defense. Trayvon Martin clearly engaged in shady behavior by wearing a hoodie, walking, being black, and carrying lethal skittles and “cop killa” ice tea.  When someone obviously suspicious like Trayvon gets himself killed by engaging in suspicious behavior, I appreciate cops that don’t even arrest lawful assailants like Zimmerman.  Zimmerman clearly was acting in self defense, and the brilliant ingenious cops of Sanford rightfully believed him. There is a silly petition going on to have poor George Zimmerman arrested for killing this deadly-skittle-carrying-skinny- 17- year- old- black-gangsta-bandit.  The petition is irrational and unsound.  Instead, as mentioned earlier, I propose a petition to ban all jacket hoodies.  Please sign my petition so that another poor soul like Zimmerman won’t have to face this horrible ordeal of people at least wanting him to be arrested when he too takes the law in his own hand and decides to confront and kill a black 17 year old child under the guise of self defense.  If this petition is successful, then the next petition will be a ban on walking after sunset.  If that ban is too vague, then it can be changed to a ban of walking while black after sunset.

Sincerely,

Supporter for George Zimmerman

PETITION FOR THE BANNING OF HOODIES:  100,000 Signatures needed!

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