In Defense of Trayvon Martin’s Killer: The Deadliness of Skittles

The police are and remain more than justified in not arresting the 28 year old man, George Zimmerman, after he shot and killed the 17 year old boy, Trayvon Martin.  In fact, I believe the police should be applauded for their efforts in not arresting a grown man who shot and killed a child with a .44 caliber gun when all the child had on him was some skittles and iced tea.  Now, I know some may think that there is disconnect between someone having skittles, and another person having a gun, but I am here to assure all that it connects perfectly.  A disconnect is only in the mind of fools, and I’m glad there is not a single fool in that Sanford police department. 

First of all, I get angry at people who try to downplay the significance of these skittles. Little David meek and mild vanquished a 20 foot tall behemoth, Goliath, with nothing but a few measly pebbles.  George Zimmerman is not Goliath, therefore it logically falls that skittles are more than a deadly weapon to him.  Have you ever been hit in the head with a skittle? Have you ever tasted that rainbow? I assure you that it is quite deadly.  Zimmerman’s  .44 caliber gun was necessary to thwart the danger of those wretched skittles.  To buttress this point, I’ll give an example of the violent disposition of colorful skittles. If I, unfortunately, was positioned to fight another man to the death, and we were given a list of weapons to choose from such as a rifle, a battle axe,  a bag of skittles, a dagger,  a chainsaw, a sword, a grenade, and a machine gun, then I’m sure both of us, without hesitation, would first reach for those skittles.  In fact, fearing the dangerousness of the aforesaid skittles, I assume that we would probably pre-negotiate that neither of us could use those ferocious skittles in battle. Skittles are manufactured by the Wrigley Jr. Company;  I have already sent numerous letters to the Wrigley Jr. Company  insisting that they put a disclaimer on skittles.  I won’t be satisfied until every pack of skittles has the disclaimer, “Sweet and Lethal.”  Skittles should really be named Deadly Colorful Black Mamba candy, but for now I’ll settle for at least a disclaimer.

Second of all, my anger intensifies when people try to claim that Trayvon was not suspicious.  He was beyond extremely suspicious.  He was walking around wearing a hoodie for Christ’s sake.  In this day and age, where people have motorcycles, cars, and trucks, there is and remains nothing more suspicious than a person who chooses to walk. Think about it, if someone had the option to drive a vehicle, isn’t it suspicious that he would choose to walk instead.  Further, even if they lack the means to drive, there are bikes, scooters, and skate boards available. My heart always skips at least two beats when I see someone walking on the street. Man was simply not meant to walk that is the very reason we have cars in modern day and rode horses in ye olden day.  Further, Trayvon wore a hoodie. Even though it was winter and even though it was after sunset and even though the air was chilly, Trayvon should have known that a hoodie raises ones suspicion, and rightfully so.  So, the follow up question to the fact that a hoodie is suspicious is, “Well, then what should he have worn instead of a hoodie?” The answer to this is quite obvious.  He should have worn no shirt.  Indeed, he should have embraced the frigid sunset air and smiled a warm smile as he welcomed the goose bumps along his thin body.  It is more reasonable to suffer the rancor of hypothermia than to ever be suspicious.  I am seeking a prohibition on all jacket hoodies, I hope that others join my petition to ban hoodies. Hoodies are simply too precarious in making a person look suspicious.  George Zimmerman’s suspicion was justified; other reasonable minds would have behaved similarly.  If I saw a person with a hood on who was engaged in the activity of, god forbid, walking, then I must confess that I would probably have thrown some skittles at him or her.

Third of all, I propose that those who call George Zimmerman a racist be banned from speaking.  I think that it is ludicrous and disturbing the peace that many insipid insidious insects have labeled Zimmerman a racist.  I only call them insects because I don’t know them all by name, and because they truly bug me.  Zimmerman is not a racist. Zimmerman’s father, who of course has no interest in trying to paint his gun toting son in a good light, said that his son had some black friends.  Even though not a single one of these black friends has come to Zimmerman’s defense, I’ll take the obviously unbiased words of Zimmerman’s father over any the silly racist speculation spewed by those slithering insects.  Obviously, if a person has even one friend of the opposite race, then it is impossible for such person to be racist or prejudicial in the slightest.  This is why not one single slave owner in the post civil war South or white supporter of Jim Crow or white supporter of South African apartheid ever had one black friend, or, better yet, a third party who claims that such person had a friend after such person was labeled a racist. Zimmerman wasn’t a racist; he just saw a black person who happened to be acting suspiciously by having the audacity to walk on his feet while contemporaneously wearing a hoodie. Yes, America is a free country, but that doesn’t give a person, even a black person, the right to engage in such unquestionably suspicious behavior.  It isn’t like Florida, or the Southern United States for that matter, has a history of racial injustice.  For example, the 12 year old Floridian black child given life imprisonment without the possibility of parole for killing his cousin while performing wrestling moves on her completely deserved to rot in prison for the rest of his life.  Moreover, the case of Casey Anthony would have come out the same way regardless if Ms. Anthony had been white or, god forbid, black.  Further, the police love black people, black men especially, that is why police officers stop black drivers all the time.  It’s because they love them.  That is why police officers arrest black men at disproportionate rates. It’s because they love them.  That is why black men make up a disproportionate amount of the jail system.  It’s because police love them so much, and desperately want to keep them around.  I, for one, can only hope that a police officer will stop me while I’m driving, claim that my taillight is busted even though it is complexly fine, and then subsequently  ask me if I’m on drugs or if I stole my own car.  Such action shows true love.  Since Zimmerman was the self appointed neighborhood watchman, which is not a cop but in my eyes is close such that I should even respect Zimmerman’s view of what articulable reasonable suspicion means, I think it is safe to assume that he loved black men just as much as police officers do.

Zimmerman truly is an honorable man, and he should be commended instead of abhorred for standing up and trying to protect his neighbors from the deadly skittle carrying nightwalker.  How could you arrest a guy like him? He graduated from college and took a criminal law class. He selflessly appointed himself as the head of the neighborhood watch. He is and remains undoubtedly an upstanding citizen. This is evidenced by his 2005 arrest for suspicion of battery on a law officer. It is also evidenced by complaints made by one resident to the Sanford police about Zimmerman approaching him and even coming to his home. Moreover, it is evidenced by the numerous complaints made by several residents of George Zimmerman and his “tactics” in his neighborhood watch role.  As the story unfolds, it becomes more and more apparent that Zimmerman was not simply a loose cannon.  To the contrary, Trayvon was the loose cannon for, as previously mentioned, wearing a jacket and hoodie while carrying skittles.    Indeed, Trayvon is lucky that Zimmerman did not know he had those skittles “sweet and lethal” on him. 

Although it is clear that Zimmerman was not a racist, seeing a black man with skittles strikes fear even in those with the most unwavering of hearts.  With crips wearing blue, bloods wearing red, black disciples wearing blue, and orange gangs wearing orange, an abundance of clarity arises manifesting that skittles can be nothing less but vitriol filled black gangster candy.  Skittles are so very precarious because, since there are so many colors, one does not know which color to associate to the black insubordinate who dares to eat such candy.  Trayvon must have been in a dangerous gang that associated itself with the colors: green, orange, red, yellow, or purple.  Moreover, since there has been no specification on the kinds of skittles, one cannot even assume that Trayvon was carrying the original skittles, he may have been carrying sour skittles, tropical skittles, or even chocolate mix skittles.  With each different kind of skittles pack that Trayvon may have carried, the color that he and his gang associated as gang bangers grows exponentially.  Trayvon also carried a can of Arizona Iced tea. It is not coincidental that the rapper Ice-T made the song cop killa.  I do not want to speculate as to what activity Trayvon planned to engage himself into that night, but all logical signs point to the fact that he was up to no good: he was walking, he was wearing a hoodie, he was black, he had skittles in his pocket, and he was carrying some “cop killa” ice tea.

Since Trayvon clearly was dangerous, it is unconscionable to think that Zimmerman did anything but engage in self defense.  Trayvon Martin stood 6 foot 3 and weighed a whopping 140 pounds.  To better put it, he stood as tall as rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg but weighed at least 30 pounds less than Snoop Doggy Dogg, and we all know how big and buff Snoop Doggy Dogg is.  Undeniably, the 17 year still-developing-boy Trayvon must have been a pillar of strength and mightiness.  Zimmerman who only happened to be a grown man at 28 and who only happened to outweigh Trayvon by 100 pounds, give or take, could not have possibly outdueled a barely-past-prepubescent Trayvon in a match of fists. Killing Trayvon by shooting him in the chest was the only rational and reasonable thing for Zimmerman to do.  In a battle, one is allowed to fight back with reasonable force.  Obviously, the emaciated punches of the barely post prepubescent 17 year old Trayvon were more than formidable; they were as deadly as his skittles.  Zimmerman, obviously, and I repeat, obviously, had no other option as a 28 year old man, but to shoot 17 year old Trayvon Martin dead.  The only possible way to defend himself was to kill Trayvon Martin.  Luckily, gun laws in Florida are so relaxed that a law abiding citizen like Zimmerman can easily acquire a pistol.  I urge others to acquire pistols as well because if someone punches a person and then may reasonably slap or punch such person again, then the person that has been punched has the right to shoot the puncher in the chest in the name of self defense.  If the person who punches is a black man with skittles and iced tea, then, luckily, I believe under Florida Law that the black man is not even required to throw the first punch before the aforesaid person has a right to shoot that boy dead.

Further, it is clear that Trayvon initiated the whole confrontation.  When Zimmerman called the police to report about Trayvons’s suspicious and, likely, criminal activity, the police told Zimmerman not to follow Trayvon. Indeed, when Zimmerman reported to the police that he as the self-appointed neighborhood watchman was going to accost Trayvon Martin, the 911 dispatcher said, “we don’t need you do that.” Thus, if Zimmerman disobeys direct police orders, and confronts a dangerous 17 year old emaciated 140 pound black kid who has equipped himself with skittles and “cop killa” ice tea, then any subsequent confrontation must be self defense.  Foolish people say that a person should not be able to claim self-defense when such person was the one who initiated the confrontation in which he had to defend himself, and when such person disobeyed direct police orders not to initiate such a confrontation.  I, for one, am very thankful that none of the police officers in that Sanford police department are complete and utter fools.  To the contrary, their wisdom permeates higher than Solomon’s.   This is so transparently a case of self defense that standard procedures like alcohol and drug testing of the shooter did not and does not have to be taken.  The only thing that needs to be taken is triumphant killer’s words, and they are undoubtedly truthful.  So, all the neighbors and other firsthand witnesses speaking against Zimmerman clearly are the ones lying or mistaken.

As Zimmerman said, it was Trayvon who started the fight and it was Zimmerman that was begging for his life.  This makes perfect sense.  Of course that high pitched child like sounding desperate wailing could only come from a 28 year old fully developed grown man who outweighed his  17 year old emaciated attacker by 100 pounds and who reasonably feared for his life even though he carried a .44 caliber gun.  For this reason, the blood curdling screaming stopped as soon as the gun shot fired.  It only makes sense that the person begging for his life also happens to be the one who is carrying the gun just like it only makes sense that the blood-curdlings screams for help would immediately cease after the shot that rang through the treacherous heavens fired.   It only makes sense that the gun toting 28 year old man that disobeyed police orders feared for his life, and not the skinny 17 year old high school boy who was confronted by a stranger as he was walking home from buying candy.  This is so clear, apparent, and undeniable that undoubtedly the Sanford police could not at all arrest George Zimmerman.

I am thankful to live in a nation where a 17 year old skinny black child walking back from the candy store can be shot dead by an assailant who disobeyed direct police orders, and that this assailant can then be given the benefit of the doubt that such actions were in self defense. Trayvon Martin clearly engaged in shady behavior by wearing a hoodie, walking, being black, and carrying lethal skittles and “cop killa” ice tea.  When someone obviously suspicious like Trayvon gets himself killed by engaging in suspicious behavior, I appreciate cops that don’t even arrest lawful assailants like Zimmerman.  Zimmerman clearly was acting in self defense, and the brilliant ingenious cops of Sanford rightfully believed him. There is a silly petition going on to have poor George Zimmerman arrested for killing this deadly-skittle-carrying-skinny- 17- year- old- black-gangsta-bandit.  The petition is irrational and unsound.  Instead, as mentioned earlier, I propose a petition to ban all jacket hoodies.  Please sign my petition so that another poor soul like Zimmerman won’t have to face this horrible ordeal of people at least wanting him to be arrested when he too takes the law in his own hand and decides to confront and kill a black 17 year old child under the guise of self defense.  If this petition is successful, then the next petition will be a ban on walking after sunset.  If that ban is too vague, then it can be changed to a ban of walking while black after sunset.

Sincerely,

Supporter for George Zimmerman

PETITION FOR THE BANNING OF HOODIES:  100,000 Signatures needed!

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